Unfinished Business
by JeeSun
Summary: The Senior Staff from the Bartlet administration gathers at the Bartlet Farm for a last goodbye. It will be a week with confrontations and some well-hidden secrets. (11/11)
1. Part 1

Title: Unfinished Business  
  
Author: JeeSun  
  
Rating: PG-13 for some words.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please. E-mail at jee__sun@hotmail.com (double underscores)  
  
Archive: Sure, just send me a note where so I can visit  
  
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine  
  
A/N: So, some background information so you should understand this better. Sam left spring - 03 and Toby left in January - 05. Why? Read and see. I've chose not to let Will be a part of this fanfic. I haven't seen fourth season so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make the character justice. This takes place summer - 08.  
  
*  
  
Los Angeles  
  
Someone knocked lightly on the door and Marie stuck in her head. When everyone in the room turned to look at her she blushed and looked at the floor.  
  
"Marie, can I help you with anything?" CJ asked and smiled softly.  
  
"I'm so sorry to disturb but you have a phone call. He said it was important."  
  
CJ rose and threw her pencil at the table. Before she followed Marie out in the hallway she turned and smiled at the others in the room.  
  
"I'm sorry. You'll manage without me for a while, won't you guys?"  
  
Without waiting for an answer she walked out in the hallway, smirking because she knew every man in that room looked after her in admiration.  
  
Marie looked like she was on the verge of tears. "I am so sorry," she said again.  
  
"It's okay, Marie. Really." CJ put a hand on Marie's arm to reassure her no harm was done.  
  
After she closed the door to her office she silently cursed the guy who made Carol pregnant. She picked up the phone and sat down behind her desk.  
  
"I'm in a meeting."  
  
"Are the people you're having a meeting with in your office?" A voice she knew well asked slowly.  
  
Unconsciously, she put a hand over her heart and smiled. "Josh."  
  
"Hey, Claudia Jean," he said and she could almost see him smile in his office on the other end of the country. "So, are they?"  
  
"What?" She asked a bit confused.  
  
Josh sighed, then laughed softly. "The meeting. Is it in your office?"  
  
At first she just shook her head but when she realized he couldn't see her she smiled and said, "No," quietly.  
  
"Are you busy because I can call back later."  
  
She smirked and put up her feet on the desk. "Nah, just some boring budget- meeting I didn't understand anyway. It's fun to see the guys argue with each other to get me to think like them, though."  
  
She smirked and Josh chuckled.  
  
"I can imagine," he said.  
  
"So, what can I do for you, mi amour?"  
  
He sighed and CJ realized this wasn't just a call to chitchat about their latest events in their lives.  
  
"Josh?" She asked anxiously when he didn't say anything. "Are Amy and the kids okay?"  
  
"They're fine," he hurried to say when he heard her worried voice. "It's. Have you talked to Leo lately?"  
  
A wrinkle appeared between CJ's eyebrows and she leaned back in the chair. "No, why?"  
  
There was a short pause and then she heard Josh sigh again.  
  
"CJ, he's not doing well." He sounded beat.  
  
"What, what are you talking about, Josh?" She said, anxiously again. "He's having a cold or something? I mean, how bad can it be?"  
  
If the situation hadn't been so serious Josh had probably laughed but he knew CJ really was thinking all Leo had was a cold, nothing worse.  
  
"He has cancer," he said almost inaudible. "Apparently, he only has a month left."  
  
CJ jumped up from the chair and nervously rubbed her forehead. "A month? Like four weeks?"  
  
On the other end of the line Josh sighed and rubbed his temple. "I know. Abbey called me yesterday and told me. Leo has known for eight months. He didn't want to say anything. Didn't want us to worry about him."  
  
"Damn him," CJ whispered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing," she hurried to say and then changed from emotionally to practically CJ in a second. "Listen, should I fly to Boston or.?"  
  
"That's why I'm calling," Josh interrupted. "Leo's on the Bartlet farm now. Abbey wants us all to come there next week. Leo's going to stay there the coming two weeks. After that he'll go home to Boston to be with Jordan and Mallory. He doesn't want us to see him." Josh swallowed and covered his eyes, ".die."  
  
"Oh, Josh," CJ whispered, wishing Josh wasn't so far away so she could hold him in his arms.  
  
"How long are we staying?"  
  
"Just the week. Do you think you can get out of work?"  
  
CJ smiled, not believing he could ask a question like that at a time like now. "What do you think?"  
  
When she heard Josh sigh again she wasn't sure but she thought it was a sigh of relief.  
  
"Abbey's going to invite everyone else there as well, everyone who was important to Leo during the time in the White House."  
  
"Okay," she hurried to say. "When should I be there? Monday?"  
  
"CJ, did you hear me? Everyone else will be there."  
  
She sighed and closed her eyes briefly. "I heard you, Josh." She swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her eyes again. "But at a time like this I have to push that away. Leo's is more important than some old." She trailed off because she was going to say 'fling' but it was so much more.  
  
"Yeah, okay." He didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then, "Are you okay?"  
  
"Josh!" She said warningly.  
  
"Okay, I'll see you next week."  
  
"Yeah," she whispered and hung up the phone.  
  
She took a moment to calm down and then checked in the mirror if she looked okay. When she passed Marie's desk on her way back to the budget-meeting she stopped.  
  
"Marie, I need you to make arrangements for me so I can be in New Hampshire on Monday."  
  
*  
  
Washington D.C.  
  
"How did she take it?" Sam asked the second after Josh hung up the phone, his concern obvious in his voice.  
  
Josh rubbed his forehead and then looked at him. "She's coming. Before she hung up. She was almost crying, Sam. And I don't know if it was because of Leo or because of."  
  
Sam put his hand on Josh's shoulder and smiled softly.  
  
"I should probably call him."  
  
Josh could see how nervous Sam was. "If you don't want to I can call him," he offered.  
  
Sam shook his head. "No, I want to call him. It's just been so long. I haven't talked to him in years."  
  
"I know," Josh said quietly. "Do you want me to leave?"  
  
Sam smiled thankfully at Josh. "Do you mind?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
After Josh had left, Sam nervously took the phone and dialed a number he still has on speed dial even though he hadn't used it in three years.  
  
"Ziegler," a gruff voice said after the fourth signal.  
  
"Toby, it's Sam," Sam said anxiously.  
  
For a while Toby didn't say anything and Sam was worried he might have hung up.  
  
"Hi, Sam," Toby said the second right before Sam was about to ask for him.  
  
This time it was Sam turn to sit quiet for a few seconds. He couldn't believe how Toby could sound so casual, almost as if they had talked the last week.  
  
"How are you?" Toby continued.  
  
"I'm fine," Sam almost whispered. "And you?"  
  
"I have nothing to complain about."  
  
"And the kids?" Sam groaned silently because he was making small talk and he knew Toby hated small talk.  
  
He was surprised when Toby answered politely how his children were and Sam realized they had drifted so far apart.  
  
Sam sighed, then said, "Listen, something has happened."  
  
*  
  
Manchester  
  
Jed handed Leo a glass of orange juice before sitting down in the other chair in front of the fireplace.  
  
"Where's Abbey?" Leo asked and it frightened Jed how weak he sounded.  
  
"She went to bed," Jed said.  
  
"I don't want her to feel left out."  
  
Jed sighed and looked away. "She doesn't Leo. She understands that my best friend is." He stopped talking, didn't want to say the word.  
  
"It's okay, you know. It's okay to say I'm dying."  
  
Jed continued to look away. He bit his lower lip to not scream out of frustration. His friend was dying right in front of his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it.  
  
He decided to change topic. "So, Josh called earlier tonight."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"They're coming."  
  
Leo sat up in the chair and turned to Jed.  
  
"Oh, don't be so stubborn!" Jed groaned.  
  
"I'm not!" Leo protested. "It's just. would you like that the people you've practically adopted as your own children saw you die?"  
  
Jed sighed, they had had this discussion before. Eventually, Abbey had taken the decision but it was obvious Leo wasn't happy about it.  
  
"I thought you of all people would understand, sir. I don't want everyone to fuss over me."  
  
Jed looked at Leo, his eyes sad and tired. "I do understand, Leo. But I also understand that you'd regret it if you didn't say goodbye to them. Or let them have the chance of say goodbye to you. You said it yourself. They're like your own kids!" Then he laughed a little. "By the way, I don't think anyone will fuss over you. You won't let them."  
  
Leo closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. Jed just sat there watching his friend drift away to sleep. When he thought Leo was sleeping his voice suddenly startled him.  
  
"Even Toby is coming?"  
  
He tried to hide his small and a bit relieved smile in the dark but Jed knew he smiled and he did as well.  
  
"Even Toby is coming," he confirmed.  
  
TBC. 


	2. Part 2

A/N1: I'm not sure if New Hampshire even has an airport but I took a shot. If NH doesn't, please don't let it bother you too much.  
  
A/N2: Thanks for the feedback and I hope you'll like this part as well. Sorry, it's been a bit delayed but life's hectic right now.  
  
A/N3: I've forgotten to apologize/warn you for this fic not being beta- read.  
  
*  
  
New Hampshire Airport  
  
"Sam, why don't you get our luggage and I'll stay here and look for CJ."  
  
Sam glared at Josh who sighed loudly before following his friend.  
  
"Wasn't her flight supposed to arrive like 45 minutes after ours anyway?" Sam asked and gave Josh his bag, then grabbed his own.  
  
"Yeah," Josh muttered. "Coffee?"  
  
Sam nodded and followed Josh to a small café not far away. They just sat quietly without saying a word to each other for a moment. Sam's thoughts were somewhere else and Josh was trying to come up with what was eating his friend.  
  
"Are you okay?" Josh asked when he couldn't keep quiet anymore.  
  
Sam snapped back to reality and looked almost a bit startled at Josh. "Yeah. What about you?"  
  
Josh shrugged and looked away. "I just. It seems like everyone are dying, Sam. My mom two years ago, now Leo. And who knows how long the President has left?"  
  
Sam smiled slightly. "If you call him that he's going to kill you."  
  
Josh grinned. "He'll always be the President to me."  
  
"Me too," Sam said and almost got a bit moody. "When was the last time you saw them?"  
  
Josh thought for a while because he had to count years and months. "I haven't seen CJ since we left the White House, nor the first couple. I went to Leo's six months ago. And Toby. I haven't seen nor talked to him since he left."  
  
"Me neither," Sam said sadly. "A lot has happened since."  
  
"It has," Josh said slowly not really understanding what his friend was referring too.  
  
Josh was thinking of something to say when his cell phone rang. "Josh Lyman. CJ?" Sam looked expectantly at Josh with a huge grin. "You're already here? Where? We're already on our way."  
  
Josh quickly rose and put on his jacket.  
  
"She's already here?" Sam asked as he gathered his things.  
  
"Caught an earlier flight," Josh said with a huge smile.  
  
Josh started to run and Sam quickly followed because he wasn't sure where they were going. When they came to her gate they caught her immediately. They stopped and looked at each other. She was looking out the window and her back was facing them. Josh began to walk over to her and after a second of hesitation Sam followed. Then she turned around and they both stopped walking towards her. She smiled softly and took the few steps it took her to place her hand on Josh's shoulder.  
  
"Hey," she said quietly as Josh put his arms around her.  
  
"You look good," he whispered in her hair, for the first time realizing how much he had missed her.  
  
She smiled and touched his hair. "You have gray strands of hair."  
  
She had tears in her eyes and Josh pulled her in for a hug again. Then she turned to Sam who also had tears in his eyes.  
  
"Sam, don't start," she said before gently hugging him. "If you do it won't take long until I start to." She sobbed and smiled slightly through her tears, ".cry."  
  
"It's so good to see you. It's been too long, CJ."  
  
"It has."  
  
"Oh, come on now!" Josh cut in with a huge grin. "Where are your bags?"  
  
"I'm not sure," CJ said softly.  
  
"Okay, you stand here and be sentimental and I'll go in search for your bags," Josh said and walked away.  
  
When he thought they couldn't see him he wiped away a tear.  
  
*  
  
Bartlet Farm  
  
Jed ran to the living room and looked out the window.  
  
Abbey smiled softly. "Where's the fire?"  
  
Her voice startled him and he quickly turned around. He smiled, almost a bit embarrassed at his wife.  
  
"I thought I heard a car."  
  
Abbey walked over to him and put a hand on his arm and smiled softly. "They'll be here soon."  
  
Jed shrugged and looked away, then back at Abbey. "It's just been so long since I last saw them. Before I was used to have them in my life every day. Now I haven't seen Josh and CJ in one and a half year. Toby and Sam, even longer."  
  
He kissed Abbey on the cheek and smiled. "Where's Leo?"  
  
Abbey stopped smiling for a short moment. "He's upstairs resting. He wants to look the best he can when they arrive."  
  
Jed sighed and walked over to the couch. He took Abbey's hand and gently traced patters on her palm as he was thinking. He looked beat and she gently brushed his cheek.  
  
"I just. I always thought I'd be the first one to go," he whispered.  
  
"I know," Abbey said, hating herself for thanking God every night that he wasn't. There was a knock on the door and their housekeeper Angela entered.  
  
"I'm sorry but Al called and said a car is on its way."  
  
Jed's sad expression disappeared and he grinned. He took Abbey's hand and hurried out on the porch. As the car came closer to the house he put his arm around Abbey.  
  
"They're here," he whispered. "Finally."  
  
The car stopped and they walked towards it.  
  
"Sam!" Abbey screamed and ran over to hug him.  
  
"Hey, what about me?" Josh asked holding out his arms.  
  
Jed grinned walked over to him. "Oh, come here you fool."  
  
When he let go of Josh he turned to CJ. "Claudia Jean, you look amazing."  
  
"So do you, Mr. President," she said before leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
"Okay, I might as well take this now," Jed said, doing his best to sound angry but no one missed the twinkle in his eyes. "No one may call me Mr. President anymore."  
  
"Can I call you sir, then?" CJ asked, smiling mischievously.  
  
"I'd prefer if you all called me Jed."  
  
"That's fine with me," Josh said and added, "Sir."  
  
Jed glared at Josh but then grinned just as huge as Josh.  
  
"Where's Leo?" Sam suddenly asked and everyone turned serious.  
  
"He's resting," Abbey said after a while.  
  
"How is he?" CJ asked worriedly.  
  
Jed sighed and put one hand on Sam's shoulder, his other arm around CJ's waist. "He's tired. Very tired, but he's looking forward to see you."  
  
They began to walk towards the house and Abbey put her arm around Josh's waist. Then she smiled.  
  
"You must be hungry!"  
  
"Why, ma'am, you've managed to read my mind," Josh said and grinned.  
  
Abbey smiled softly but couldn't help worrying if Toby in the last minute got cold feet.  
  
*  
  
New Hampshire Airport  
  
Toby lit his cigar and then waved at the bartender.  
  
"What can I get you, sir?"  
  
"A Jack Daniels," Toby said quietly. "Make it a double."  
  
"Of course, sir."  
  
The bartender walked away to come back in a few seconds with his drink.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
The bartender left him alone and went to talk to other guests around the counter that seemed happier than the gruff man in the corner.  
  
Toby nervously rubbed his temples. He didn't understand what he was doing here anyway. He couldn't understand why they wanted him to come. CJ, Josh, Sam, of course, but him? It made no sense. He briefly thought of checking if there was a flight back to New York tonight. He missed Sammy and Eliza. He missed his computer in his apartment in Brooklyn. Sure, he had brought his laptop but he could never concentrate as much as he did when he wrote on his other computer. Writing on a laptop meant that anyone could walk up on you, any moment and see what you were writing.  
  
His cell phone rung and when he saw who it was on the caller ID he hurried to answer.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Hey, daddy!"  
  
Toby smiled softly at the sound of his son's voice. "Sammy, aren't you in bed yet?" When Sammy didn't answer Toby chuckled. "You know, I can't see you shake your head over the phone."  
  
"When are you coming home?" Sammy asked, suddenly sounding very anxious. "I miss you."  
  
"I miss you too, Sammy." He sighed and sipped his drink. "It's just, it's something I have to take care of here. I'll be home in a week."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I promise. Now, can you promise me to be a good boy and take care of your mother and sister when I'm gone?" No answer and Toby laughed again. "Yeah, I can't see you nod over the phone either."  
  
"Bye, daddy."  
  
"Tell mommy I'll call you tomorrow."  
  
He wasn't sure if Sammy had caught that. After his conversation with Sammy he felt a little better. He looked at the time, it was a bit over six. He knew the others had arrived at the Bartlet Farm early this afternoon. He also knew they were probably going to have dinner in an hour and he was expected. Or maybe he wasn't even though he had said he would come.  
  
As he thought he'd better get going the bartender walked towards him. He took Toby's empty glass and put it on the tray.  
  
"Can I get you another one, sir?"  
  
Toby sighed, then smiled slightly. "Yeah, I'll be needing it."  
  
TBC. 


	3. Part 3

Author's note: Sorry for the delay, again!  
  
*  
  
Bartlet Farm  
  
They had decided not to wake up Leo until it was time to have dinner. If they didn't he'd be more like they were used to see him, which they knew he wanted, and not so weak and tired later.  
  
"It's so good to see you all," Leo said softly and looked at each one of them.  
  
He stopped at Jed and nodded once as a silent thank you. Jed smiled slightly then had to look away to not burst out in tears.  
  
"It's good to see you too," CJ said and put her hand over his on the table. "I've missed you so much." Then she turned to the others around the table. "All of you. It's now when I'm here that I realize we don't see each other often enough."  
  
"Maybe we can change that," Leo said and everyone looked away because he wouldn't be around for it.  
  
An awkward silence spread around the table. It was Abbey who first said something.  
  
"I hope the steak tastes good. Its Angela's special."  
  
"Tell her it was wonderful," Josh said with a huge grin.  
  
"Yeah, but you probably shouldn't mention that. Josh think all food is wonderful," Sam filled in with a smirk.  
  
Josh playfully pushed his shoulder against Sam's.  
  
"Living with Amy and her food makes anything else wonderful. Don't tell her I said that."  
  
Everyone laughed.  
  
"Now, kids, why don't you tell the rest of us about work," Leo said.  
  
Abbey groaned. "Leo, they're here on vacation. They shouldn't so much as think of work this week."  
  
"I'm afraid that's rather impossible, ma'am," CJ said. "If it makes Leo happy I'm glad to tell him about work."  
  
Leo smiled and leaned back and listened too first CJ, then Sam and at last Josh tell them about work. It was nice for him, not only because he liked to know what was going on in their lives but it was also relaxing to just sit and listen.  
  
"How's Jordan?" CJ asked when Angela brought in dessert.  
  
"She's fine."  
  
Josh pushed Sam's shoulder again and smirked. "And what about Mallory?"  
  
Sam looked uncomfortable and nervously shifted on his chair.  
  
"She's fine too," Leo said and smiled at Sam. "She's married now, expecting her third kid although I'm pretty sure she never really got over you." He winked at Sam who looked as if he wanted nothing else than to leave the room.  
  
CJ noticed and decided to change subject. "What about Amy and the kids, Josh?"  
  
As Josh began to talk about his family Sam smiled thankfully at CJ. She raised an eyebrow to ask if everything was okay but then he just looked away.  
  
"Joanie's so sweet. She draws already perfectly. Sophie is walking now and Leo Jr. is busy with his baseball," Josh said with a proud smile.  
  
"Isn't he like three years old?" Jed asked.  
  
Josh shrugged and blushed. "Okay, so maybe not busy but he likes to throw the ball a lot."  
  
"They must have grown inches since I last saw them," CJ said and looked sad.  
  
Abbey groaned again. "Okay, why do you all have to be so sentimental tonight? We've already agreed that we'll see each other more after this week, right?"  
  
"It's just, I can't believe we worked together for eight years. We saw each other every day," CJ said. "And now it takes a." She swallowed and turned to Leo. ".An occasion like this to bring us together."  
  
Everyone looked sad but then Leo grinned. "I'm glad I could help with something."  
  
"How's Margaret?" Sam asked. "Why isn't she here? I thought everyone important to you were coming here."  
  
Leo smiled and waved with his hand in the air. "I see Margaret every day in Boston. She didn't want to come here either. She thought she'd let us be alone. Speaking of which, I thought Toby was coming."  
  
Jed looked sadly at his friend when he heard the disappointment in his voice. He made a mental note to call Toby tomorrow and tell him a few things about old friends and to be there for each other.  
  
"He's coming," Sam said, sounding as if he wanted to convince himself mostly. "He told me himself when I called him last week."  
  
Leo looks smiled sadly. "Yeah, but this is Toby we're talking about."  
  
CJ looked away and bit her lower lip feeling the tears burn behind her eyelids. She hated when people said bad things about Toby even though he most of the times deserved it. It still hurt, though.  
  
Angela knocked on the door and then entered. "I'm sorry, sir, ma'am, but someone's coming."  
  
Everyone looked at each other and all minds went to the same person.  
  
"So, he's coming after all," Leo whispered to no one in particular.  
  
CJ, who's face gone pale quickly rose. "I'm sorry. Will you excuse me?"  
  
Without waiting for an answer she left and hurried to her room. The others looked worriedly after her. Josh rose but Abbey held up her hand and shook her head.  
  
"She'll probably need to be alone for a while."  
  
Sam looked nervously at everyone in the room, then he suddenly rose with such power everyone looked confused at him.  
  
"I'm going out to meet him," Sam said quietly.  
  
"I'll come with you," Josh offered.  
  
After Josh and Sam had left the room Jed looked worriedly at Leo.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
Leo nodded slowly. "I just, although I knew he was coming I really wasn't expecting it."  
  
"I don't think anyone did," Abbey said with a small smile.  
  
When Josh and Sam came out on the porch Toby was already there. He was leaning against the car and just looked at the house. Josh and Sam nervously walked over to him. Josh held out his hand and Toby took it after a short while.  
  
"Hey, Toby. It's good to see you," Josh said, not sure if he should smile or not.  
  
"Hey, Josh."  
  
When he let go of Josh's hand he turned to Sam. Something in his stomach twitched and he held out his hand, first now realizing it was slightly shaking. Sam ignored Toby's outstretched hand and took a small step closer so that he could embrace him.  
  
"Hey Toby," he said softly.  
  
After a second Toby let his arms gently hug Sam back. "Hey, Sam."  
  
Josh smiled a bit nervously then picked up Toby's bags. "I'll take your bags inside."  
  
"Thanks," Toby said only looking at him for a short moment before turning back to Sam again.  
  
Sam nervously looked away. Toby smiled slightly and put his hand on Sam's shoulder.  
  
"Want to take a walk?"  
  
"Aren't you tired? I mean after your flight?"  
  
Toby shook his head. "Come on."  
  
Sam nodded once and then followed Toby towards the pond.  
  
"The others weren't sure you were coming," Sam said after a while.  
  
Toby laughed quietly. "I could imagine."  
  
"I was though."  
  
Toby stopped and turned to Sam. "I could imagine that too," he said softly.  
  
Sam looked down on the ground and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. I wish you'd come and seen me in D.C."  
  
"Yeah, well I've been busy," Toby said for the first time sounding harsh and annoyed since he came.  
  
Sam was surprised over how cold Toby sounded but then decided to try again.  
  
"I've missed you."  
  
This time it was Toby's turn to look away. He didn't say anything.  
  
"I just wanted to talk to you before we went in to the others," Sam said nervously after a while. "I wanted to know if you."  
  
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. He didn't want to bring this up, not now, not when he hadn't seen or talked to Toby in years. He forced himself to say what was on his mind because if he didn't he'd probably have a breakdown soon.  
  
"Before I left you said things to me that made me think that you might know. something."  
  
Toby looked Sam in the eyes without showing any kinds of emotions. "I know Sam."  
  
Sam just looked at him not knowing if he should be terrified or relived that someone finally knew what he's been keeping inside him since he was a teenager.  
  
"I'd known for a while," he added softly.  
  
Sam looked shocked and he began to pace. Then he walked down to the pond and stopped there. A few seconds later he felt Toby's hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Why didn't you say something?" Sam asked, his voice thick because of the lump in his throat.  
  
"I don't know." Toby shrugged. "I've never been the one to butt into other people's lives. I thought maybe you weren't ready to tell me."  
  
Sam snorted and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "It'd made things a lot easier if you'd said something."  
  
"Probably," Toby admitted. "Sam, do you want to talk about this?"  
  
Sam shrugged and looked away briefly. "Toby, even though we haven't had contact in thirty-one months your opinion still means everything to me."  
  
Toby smiled slightly. "You've counted the months?"  
  
"Toby!" Sam said warningly.  
  
Toby became serious. "I know, Sam. And it means a lot to me that you think of me that way even though I can't understand why." He paused for a second. "Sam, you're still the same person to me. I just want you to be happy."  
  
Sam let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"I should probably go and say hi to the others."  
  
Sam nodded. "Nervous?"  
  
Toby glared at Sam. "Well, the last time I saw most of them we weren't on the best of terms."  
  
"I know," Sam said softly.  
  
Toby began walking back towards the house expecting Sam to follow. When he didn't he turned and waved with his hand in he air.  
  
"You aren't coming?"  
  
"In a while."  
  
"Okay." He took a few steps but then turned. "Are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?"  
  
Sam shrugged and looked away.  
  
"Okay," Toby said slowly walking back towards Sam. "I'll stay here with you but only because I'm scared as hell of going in to that house all by myself."  
  
Sam smiled thankfully and sat down on the grass, putting his arms around his knees. Toby sat down next to him and Sam chuckled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's just. I don't think I ever expected to see you sit next to me on the grass looking at a pond."  
  
"Yeah, well. Listen, can I do anything for you? I kind of feel guilty for not staying in touch."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"Josh, CJ, do they now?"  
  
Sam shook her head. "No one does. Just you."  
  
Sam looked at Toby, his eyes full of admiration and relief. Toby took up a cigar and lit it.  
  
"I'm glad you talked me into come here. Even if the rest of this week suck this moment will be worth it."  
  
Sam smiled again.  
  
"So, Congressman Seaborn," Toby said and grinned. "Tell me what's going on in D.C."  
  
TBC. 


	4. Part 4

Note: Many of you have wondered what I've done with Donna in this fic. I felt that if Donna was going to be a part of the story she'd have something to do with Josh. Since I don't like the thought of Josh and Donna as a couple, I wouldn't have been able to write it well. Donna won't show up and the romance part is, as you may have noticed, dedicated to another couple (.  
  
*  
  
Bartlet Farm  
  
"Where did Sam and Toby go?" Abbey asked no one particular and looked out the window. "It's getting darker."  
  
"Abbey, they're both grown men," Jed said and smiled but he couldn't hide he also was a bit worried. "They haven't seen each other in years. Let them have some time together before we send out the search-party."  
  
Leo groaned quietly. "Sam hasn't spent this much time with any of us and he hasn't seen us in a long time either."  
  
No one said anything, just looked a bit awkward.  
  
"Has someone talked to CJ yet?" Josh asked softly.  
  
Abbey shook her head. "You go up, dear."  
  
Josh nodded slowly but didn't move. He wasn't sure of what to say to her but he wanted nothing more than to comfort her and make her feel better.  
  
"It's okay, Josh," Abbey said and put her hand on his arm. "You're probably the only person she wants to see right now."  
  
Josh nodded again and then slowly left the library.  
  
"I'm starting to regret we asked Toby to come here," Leo muttered and ignored Jed's angry eyes. "What?! Everything was fine before he came. Now we have CJ crying in her room and Sam's been gone for an hour."  
  
Jed stuck his hands in his pockets and looked seriously at Leo. "If I were you I wouldn't talk so much about making CJ cry."  
  
He raised an eyebrow and Leo had to look away. Then Jed turned to his wife.  
  
"Is she going to be okay?" He asked softly.  
  
"I'm not sure," Abbey said quietly.  
  
*  
  
CJ angrily wiped away her tears with a tissue and took a quick look in the mirror before she opened the door.  
  
Josh's heart ached when he saw her. "Can I come in?"  
  
"Be my guest," CJ said and did her best to sound normal.  
  
Josh sat down on her bed and motioned for CJ to take the spot next to him.  
  
"Have you talked to him yet?" CJ asked after several minutes of silence.  
  
Josh shrugged and looked away.  
  
"Come on, one of us had to bring it up sooner or later. I thought, why not sooner?"  
  
"He's out somewhere with Sam now. They've been out for an hour. I guess they needed some time."  
  
"I guess Toby will need time with most of us here."  
  
Josh took her hand and gently moved his fingers over her knuckles. "You?"  
  
CJ shrugged and bit her lower lip. "I don't know if I can do it, Josh. Imagine it was Amy and you hadn't talked to her in years and then she's back. The only person you ever loved."  
  
Josh gently wiped away a tear from CJ's cheek and then let his hand stay there.  
  
"Is there anything I can do?"  
  
CJ smiled slightly. "No, but thanks for asking. Do you mind? I kind of want to be alone."  
  
"Sure, that's fine."  
  
At the door he turned to her. "Are you coming down later?"  
  
She shook her head in the slightest move he barely saw it. He nodded once then left.  
  
*  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
Toby shrugged but nodded and Sam knocked softly on the door before opening it.  
  
"Look who I brought," he said and smiled as the others in the room noticed Toby.  
  
Abbey took a few quick steps towards Toby with her arms stretched out.  
  
"Toby, it's so good to see you! You haven't aged a bit."  
  
Toby smirked under his beard as he let go of Abbey. "When did you become such a hypocrite, ma'am?"  
  
Abbey hit him playfully on the arm. Jed walked over to them with a small smile.  
  
"Mr. President," Toby said and held out his hand.  
  
Jed waved with his arms in the air and let out a deep sigh. "I've already told the other. No more Mr. President! Understood?"  
  
"Of course, Mr. President," Toby said seriously.  
  
Jed didn't argue anymore. Instead he smiled and put a hand on Toby's shoulder.  
  
"It really is good to see you."  
  
"Why do you sound so surprised, sir?" Toby asked in a mock voice . The room became silent and Toby noticed Leo in the corner of the room, sitting in a chair. As Leo rose Toby took a few steps towards him. He held out his hand and Leo took it after a moment of hesitation.  
  
"Leo, it's been a long time."  
  
"Yeah," Leo said quietly. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to bed."  
  
"Obviously not long enough," Toby added after Leo left the room.  
  
Josh put a hand on his shoulder. "Just give him some time, Toby. This is hard for him."  
  
"This is hard for me too, Josh!" Toby said, sounding harsher than he intended. "He told me things that still hurt like hell but all everybody cares about how it's hard for Leo!"  
  
He nervously rubbed his forehead and began pacing in the room. Then he sat down in a chair putting his head in his hands. The others nervously looked at each other then at Toby. Toby put his hands between his knees and looked up.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "It's not your problem, I shouldn't have yelled like that. This is something between me and Leo and I won't put you in the middle."  
  
"We appreciate that, Toby," Abbey said softly and put her hand on Jed's arm.  
  
Jed smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "We're going to bed now as well. We'll talk more tomorrow. Good night."  
  
"Good night, sir," they all said in unison and Jed looked angrily at them but then smirked.  
  
"Night boys," Abbey said before closing the door.  
  
Josh poured up a drink and handed it to Toby. Then he sat down on the other chair so he was facing him.  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made it sound as if this is worse for Leo."  
  
Toby held up his hand. "I overreacted. Lets not talk about it anymore. Sam, you're up for a game of chess?"  
  
Sam raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Do you really want to be humiliated?"  
  
Toby put his empty glass on the table and rose. "Bring it on!"  
  
Sam smiled as they walked over to the other table.  
  
"Hey, what about me?" Josh asked and walked after them.  
  
Toby leaned back against the chair as he thought of what was going to be his first move. "You just watch, learn and give me a cigar."  
  
Josh raised his eyebrows but then gave Toby a cigar.  
  
"Sam, a turtle walks faster from here to New York than you make a move," Toby said irritated.  
  
"I'm thinking!" Sam replied quickly.  
  
Josh leaned back in his chair and chuckled. This was just the way it should be.  
  
*  
  
"Jethro," Abbey said rolling to her side to she was facing her husband.  
  
"I don't know any Jethro," Jed muttered without opening his eyes.  
  
Abbey smiled and then said softly, "Jed."  
  
Jed opened his eyes and couldn't help smile as well.  
  
"What if I made a mistake again? You know, one of those famous Abbey- Bartlet-mistakes I do when I meddle in."  
  
Jed put his hand on her upper arm and gently stroked it. "Abbey, you just want everyone to feel good. There can't be any mistake with that."  
  
Abbey looked away for a brief moment. "No, but as Leo said; CJ is crying, Sam's acting weird, Josh obviously sense something is wrong and Leo and Toby. Who knows where that might go?"  
  
Jed sighed. "I can't believe he just left when Toby finally had the guts to come in."  
  
"Jed, what really happened that night in the Oval Office?"  
  
Jed looked away, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. He was still embarrassed over the way he had acted and how he had let Leo take the decision for him.  
  
"We asked for Toby's resignation, then John Evans came and I had to talk to him in the Mural Room. Five minutes later I came back to the Oval, Leo was there, Toby wasn't. Leo was pale and looked shaken but he wouldn't tell me why. All he said was; 'We'll probably won't see Toby anymore.'"  
  
Abbey gently stroked his cheek. Jed closed his eyes and when he opened them again they were damp and Abbey knew he wasn't far from crying.  
  
"Abbey, if I hadn't taken the meeting with John Evans."  
  
Abbey shook her head. "Jed, it wouldn't have prevented what ever happened. Don't blame yourself. It's not like you."  
  
Jed shrugged. "No, it's just that when you no longer can have two of your best friends in the same room."  
  
Abbey kissed him lightly on the lips. "I know, honey. I know."  
  
*  
  
CJ walked down the stairs as quietly as possible. She entered the kitchen and poured up a glass of water then sat down around the table. On the other end of the hallway she noticed that the light was still on in the library. She looked at the time, it was past midnight. It was probably Leo who had fallen a sleep while he was reading. She smiled sadly as she opened the door to the library. She could tell someone was sitting in the chair facing the fireplace.  
  
"Leo?" She whispered softly.  
  
"Wrong pick," someone said and she felt her stomach twitch.  
  
For a second she thought of running away pretending she never had been there. But then he got up from the chair, a glass of scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other.  
  
"I thought you were sleeping," he said simply.  
  
CJ put her fingers over her temple. "I was. I was thirsty."  
  
"Are you tired or would you like to join me?"  
  
She wasn't sure because he spoke with no emotion in his voice but she thought she heard hope in his voice that she would.  
  
Her heart ached but she took a step into the library and closed the door behind her. "Sure."  
  
Toby waited for her to sit down before he sat down on the chair next to hers.  
  
"So, um, how have you been?" She asked nervously after a while.  
  
"Cut it out," he said.  
  
CJ looked surprised at him and raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Could you just. please could you cut the small-talk?"  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered obviously shaken by how cold he was acting. "Listen, maybe I should. Goodnight, Toby."  
  
She rose but when she walked past his chair he gripped her arm. She flinched but then let him hold her. She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat although it didn't seem to go away.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Can you please stay?"  
  
"Why?" She asked and hated herself because she knew he knew she was close to tears.  
  
She looked down on him and he looked her straight in the eye.  
  
"Because I want you too," he said simply and shrugged.  
  
After a second she nodded, knowing there was no point in trying to leave. "Okay."  
  
TBC. 


	5. Part 5

*  
  
Bartlet Farm  
  
"So, how have you been?" Toby asked nervously sipping his drink.  
  
CJ chuckled. "Now who's making small-talk?"  
  
Toby waved with his hand in the air and then put it on his forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm just... nervous I guess."  
  
"Well, if there's any comfort, so am I."  
  
"I do want to know, though," he said and she had to look away not to drown in his eyes. "How you've been, I mean. I've been thinking of you every day since I... you know, left."  
  
She wanted to tell him the same but if she did she would start to expect things and she couldn't handle to be turned down. Not again, not by him.  
  
"Work is great, not like the White House but I like it," she said instead after a while. "My co-workers are nice, L.A. is still the best city in the world."  
  
Toby groaned. "Excuse me? You said wrong just now, right?"  
  
CJ smirked. "I certainly did not. But New York is a close third."  
  
Toby raised his eyebrows. "A close third?"  
  
"Yeah, after D.C."  
  
She smiled and got up to pour herself a drink.  
  
"How, how can you be a close third?" Toby asked suddenly, his voice slightly annoyed.  
  
CJ didn't say anything, just smirked at him and sat down in the chair again.  
  
"So, do you have..." He shifted uncomfortably in the chair and looked away. "Do you have a boyfriend or something like that?" He mumbled.  
  
She looked away briefly and when she looked at him again she had pasted on her best fake-smile which was wrong in so many ways, considering Toby knew all her smiles.  
  
"No," she admitted. "They still come and go."  
  
She could have bit her tongue after she had finished that sentence. She reached out her hand but pulled back before she touched him.  
  
"Toby, I'm sorry. What you and I had... It was nothing like that."  
  
"I know," he whispered without looking at her.  
  
An awkward silence spread between them and CJ briefly thought of drinking up the entire bottle of scotch only an arm away from her.  
  
"But you!" She said finally and smiled cheerfully. "You're the family-man now. How's Andi and the kids?"  
  
Toby lit up and his eyes sparkled. "Sammy and Eliza, they are getting so big. It won't take long until I'll send them off to college. They're wonderful children."  
  
"Well of course, with you as a father," CJ said, only half-joking.  
  
"You would love them, CJ. Sammy actually still remembers you. He says he has this dreams about a very tall woman and may I add, nice."  
  
"So, there aren't nightmares?" CJ said, obviously relieved.  
  
"No," Toby said and grinned.  
  
"I haven't seen them in years," CJ whispered. "Oh, and how's Andi?"  
  
Toby shrugged, obviously uncomfortable by talking about her. "She's fine."  
  
"Did you buy that house?" CJ forced herself to ask.  
  
Toby shook his head. But then he shifted and smiled slightly.  
  
"Actually, we did buy it. We lived there for a week before we realized what we really already knew. Andi and I don't match. We shouldn't be together. So, we sold the house and moved to separate apartments."  
  
"Oh," CJ whispered because she couldn't think of something to say.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I didn't know that. I thought... I thought you got married again. I heard a rumor..."  
  
"Never listen to rumors, CJ. I thought I taught you that."  
  
CJ smiled slightly and looked at him. "You've taught me many things, Toby."  
  
Toby smirked but his beard and the dark hid it. When he turned to look at CJ again his heart broke. She looked so sad, as if she was going to cry any minute now. And it was because of him. He looked away as his body was filled with guilt. Guilt he had managed to push away the years he spent without any contact with her in New York.  
  
"Toby?"  
  
Toby snapped back to reality and smiled a bit embarrassed. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"  
  
CJ shook her head. "No, you just seemed so far away."  
  
"I was thinking."  
  
"About...?"  
  
He wanted to tell her he had been thinking of her and that he had since he left D.C.  
  
Instead he said, "Sam."  
  
CJ did an almost silent noise as if she understood exactly what he meant. Toby studied her and tried to find out without asking if Sam had told her something after he went upstairs after Toby had beaten him in chess.  
  
"I know what you mean," CJ said before he asked anything. "I'm worried about him, Toby. Something doesn't seem right."  
  
So she didn't know. He leaned back in the chair, a bit disappointed. It would have been nice to talk about this with someone. He hadn't let Sam know earlier but he was worried. Sam didn't seem happy and he was pretty sure he hadn't been in years, if ever.  
  
"Like what?" Toby finally managed to ask.  
  
"At dinner, before you arrived, he seemed very uncomfortable when Mallory was brought up."  
  
"She's his former boss's daughter. What do you expect?" Toby said trying to cover for his friend.  
  
A frown appeared between CJ's eyebrows and she rubbed her forehead. "No, it was something else. And doesn't the fact that a hottie like Sam hasn't had a girlfriend since... ever?"  
  
"First of all, let me try to get out of my head that you just called Sam a hottie." CJ smirked. "Second, that doesn't mean anything. He has had girlfriends, CJ, but with his job..."  
  
CJ waved with her hand. "I'm sure you're right. It's just, my friend Pierre..."  
  
"The French gay?" Toby interrupted.  
  
"Toby! That's so typical you! You and your prejudices!"  
  
"Excuse me? What's the prejudice? Isn't he from France?"  
  
"Yeah," CJ admitted.  
  
"And isn't he gay?"  
  
CJ groaned and briefly looked away. "Yes."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, what?" CJ raised her voice.  
  
"You should apologize."  
  
CJ glared at him. "I am not, I repeat, am not apologizing."  
  
Toby shrugged but then smiled and so did CJ. They locked eyes for a few seconds. Toby was the first to look away.  
  
"So, your friend Pierre?"  
  
CJ snapped her fingers. "Yeah, Pierre! Anyway, we had lunch with Sam when he was in California like a year ago and he got the gay-vibes."  
  
Toby was happy the room was dark because he was sure he'd gone pale.  
  
"CJ!" He said, doing his best to sound shocked on Sam's behalf.  
  
"What? I'm just saying... So, that was what Pierre said and then I began thinking about it and. It isn't like the press hasn't written about it."  
  
"Only in magazines no one cares about."  
  
CJ shrugged. "Still, though. Toby, don't tell Sam about this. You know how he gets."  
  
"I won't CJ, but if he found out he'd just laugh because it's so not true."  
  
"Yeah, whatever. For all I care he can be gay, straight, bisexual. He's still the same to me."  
  
Toby smiled slightly and sipped his drink. "He is."  
  
CJ looked at the fireplace. She realized they must have been there a while since it had stoped burning. She looked out the window and noticed the beautiful full moon. She had always been fascinated by the sky. To her, it was the most beautiful thing on earth. So beautiful it could make her cry.  
  
"CJ?"  
  
She looked away from the window and at him, first now realizing a tear was slowly rolling down her cheek. Embarrassed she wiped it away. She was extra sensitive tonight. No wonder she had begun crying. She sighed and closed her eyes briefly. She realized she couldn't push the conversation she had had in her head the last three and a half years away anymore.  
  
"You just left," she whispered.  
  
Toby looked a bit surprised that she chose to bring it up now. He didn't know what to do or say. His mind was full of words, full of apologies, full of explanations but out of his mouth came nothing.  
  
"I had to hear it from Ginger," CJ continued when Toby didn't say anything.  
  
She sounded bitter and Toby couldn't blame her.  
  
"I was going to your office to tell you about the reporter but you weren't there. I sat down on your couch thinking it was weird your coat and briefcase weren't there yet considering it was eight in the morning. Then Ginger entered and she tells me... She looks at me with her big innocent eyes and asks if I don't know. Know what, I asks and she says; 'Toby is gone. He left last night without a word to anyone.' She must have been scared that I'd have a breakdown because she left and closed the door." She paused briefly swallowing the lump in her throat but the tears came anyway. "I thought it was a joke, I was sure it was. But then Josh comes in and looks at me with that look and I know. I know you're gone and that you won't come back."  
  
Toby reached out his hand but didn't touch her because he knew she would pull away.  
  
"CJ," he whispered softly.  
  
She held up her hand and closed her eyes. "No, just let me... I'm not done yet. I called home to check my messages. There was one, from my father telling me how he caught this huge fish. I think I called home that day and checked my messages every tenth minute." She looked at him with upset eyes. "Toby, you made me call home and check my messages ten times a day for weeks!"  
  
She rose, didn't want him to see how much it still hurt her. She put a hand over her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked down at him.  
  
"One call. One fucking call, Toby. Just something, damn it! Hell, a note would have made me happy! I didn't even know if you were alive, for crying out loud! I had Sam call Andi because I was too afraid you'd answer if I called her house!"  
  
Toby reached out his hand and this time he touched CJ's but as he'd suspected she flinched and pulled away. He knew he had hurt her, he just never realized how much.  
  
"CJ, listen to me..." He pleaded.  
  
"No." She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm going back to my room now. I need to be alone."  
  
"CJ..."  
  
"Toby, would you please respect that?"  
  
Without waiting for him to answer she ran out of the room. When she ran up the stairs he could hear her sob.  
  
He wasn't the only one. Leo had been sitting in the kitchen an hour. He hadn't heard anything of their conversation. He had hoped they had begun to find the way back to each other. As friends, as lovers, he didn't care what, just something that would remind them of what they once had. When he saw CJ run up the stairs his heart ached and he also felt guilty and embarrassed. If it hadn't been for him this situation wouldn't have existed.  
  
TBC. 


	6. Part 6

Part 6  
  
CJ looked at the time and decided she couldn't hide in her bedroom any longer. When she entered the dining room it was almost ten. She hadn't expected anyone to still be there but to her surprise she found everyone sitting comfortably around the table, well except for Toby of course. CJ snorted silently before sitting down next to Sam. She hadn't expected him to be here. He always ran after confrontations in his personal life.  
  
"I guess someone overslept," Josh said and smiled.  
  
CJ blushed slightly. "Sorry, guys. I guess the years of getting up at dawn finally paid off."  
  
Abbey put her hand on hers and looked worriedly at her.  
  
"Are you okay? I mean did you really sleep tonight?"  
  
CJ shrugged and turned her attention to her breakfast.  
  
"Yes, of course," she said lightly. "Shouldn't I?"  
  
Abbey didn't say anything more, just glanced at Jed who smiled slightly at her. Suddenly CJ felt someone was starring at her. She looked up and noticed that Leo's eyes were on her. He looked sad and tired which only was reasonable but he also wore an apologetic look, a look CJ didn't understand. When she raised an eyebrow to question his look he looked back at his paper.  
  
"So, what are you going to do today?" Abbey asked.  
  
"I don't know, Ma'am," CJ hurried to say. "Is there anything I can help you with?"  
  
Abbey smiled. "CJ, you're here on vacation. I just want you all to rest and take it easy."  
  
Leo looked over his paper. "You're forgetting you're talking to the former staff of the White House."  
  
Abbey laughed a little.  
  
"Well, I was thinking of go horseback-riding after breakfast," Josh said with a huge grin.  
  
Abbey nearly choked on her juice and Jed even put away his paper after he'd heard what Josh said.  
  
"Excuse me?" Abbey finally asked.  
  
Josh shrugged and almost looked a bit embarrassed. "What? I've always liked horses and my two girls probably will as well."  
  
"That's so cute." CJ smiled softly.  
  
Leo grinned and waved with his hand in the air. "Oh, just tell them the truth Josh. You've always been a sucker for girlie things."  
  
Josh snorted and sounded offended when he asked what Leo was talking about.  
  
"You wanted to become a ballerina," Jed said, without looking up from his paper that he'd turned back his attention too.  
  
"Thank you," Josh said sarcastically and then added, "Mr. President."  
  
Jed glanced quickly at him over the paper then shook his head. Josh just grinned.  
  
"Where's Toby?" Leo asked suddenly.  
  
He looked at CJ when he asked but the question was directed to Jed and Abbey. Again, CJ was confused but also thankful for not having to ask.  
  
"He's outside, taking a walk," Abbey said, a frown between her eyebrows. "I think he's been up all night."  
  
"Well, Toby doesn't sleep," Sam said and almost sounded proud he knew that.  
  
"I thought Toby hated the outdoors," Josh said slightly confused.  
  
Abbey smiled and sighed. "He has kids now."  
  
It became quiet around the table. The only sound came from CJ's fingers tapping against the table.  
  
"You know, I always thought he and Andi got re-married after he left," she suddenly blurted out.  
  
Everyone stopped with what they were doing and looked at her. Josh moved uncomfortably in his chair and Jed glanced over at Abbey who put her hand on CJ's arm.  
  
"Honey, what are you talking about?" She asked worriedly. "Why did you think that?"  
  
CJ shrugged and blushed. "I heard rumors and it made sense. He left D.C. and he left me. It just made sense."  
  
"Ceej, you should have asked someone of us, who knew," Sam said softly.  
  
CJ looked away and nervously fiddled with her hands. "I was too scared of getting an answer I wouldn't like."  
  
Jed put away his paper and looked angrily at Leo. He slowly rose and excused himself. After a while Leo followed him and everyone looked confused at Abbey who smiled nervously.  
  
"Listen, why don't you drive down to stable? Paul will help you with everything and we'll meet back here later for lunch around two."  
  
Without waiting for them so say anything she left. Josh scratched his head and looked confused.  
  
"Well, that was weird." Then he grinned. "So, you're coming with me?"  
  
CJ and Sam looked at each other as if they were being punished but then CJ rose. "We might as well go with him otherwise he'll have broken bones when he comes back."  
  
Sam smirked at Josh's protests. Josh protested until he noticed he was sitting alone in the dining-room. He quickly ran out in the hall and yelled for them to wait for him. When he opened the door he heard CJ call for him. He quickly turned around and noticed Sam walking up the stairs.  
  
"Hey, I thought you were going with me!"  
  
CJ smiled and walked over to him. "Well, Sam needed some other clothes than a suit and you might re-think what you're wearing as well."  
  
Josh looked down at his suit and got it. He hurried up the stairs.  
  
"Don't leave without me!"  
  
CJ smiled as she walked over to the chair outside the library. The door to it was closed and she heard no voices from the room. She wondered what was going on between Jed and Leo.  
  
*  
  
Leo calmly sat in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. Abbey was leaning against the closed door glancing nervously at her pacing husband. When she couldn't take it anymore she walked over to him and made him stop.  
  
"Jed," she whispered and nodded towards the chair next to the one Leo was sitting in.  
  
Jed looked at her then closed his eyes and sighed. He slowly sat down in the chair and Abbey sat down on the stool facing them both just at the same time as someone knocked on the door.  
  
"Yes?" Abbey asked loudly and Angela opened the door.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir but Harry Richmond is on the phone."  
  
Jed sighed. "Angela, tell him I have to call him back."  
  
Angela nodded and left. No one noticed she left the door slightly ajar.  
  
"Jed, is there something you want to say to me?" Leo asked calmly.  
  
Jed looked angrily at him. "As a matter of fact there is!"  
  
Abbey quickly put her hand on his arm to calm him down.  
  
Jed sighed. "You shouldn't have made me do it," Jed said quietly with his most bitter tone.  
  
Leo looked away without saying anything.  
  
"You shouldn't have made me do it," Jed repeated.  
  
Leo quickly turned to him and his arms flew out on his sides. "It wasn't like I had any choice!" He calmed down and drank a sip of his water. "I didn't have a choice, Jed!"  
  
"Yes, you had damn it! What harm would it have caused?"  
  
"What harm it would have caused? I'll tell you that! The people was finally trusting you fully again after the MS-scandal. Sure, we were re-elected but let's not forget with a big question-mark at the end! Toby was CJ's boss. What would I have done? Made her a secretary for someone in the junior staff? Jed, you know just as much as I do that it wouldn't have worked. They would have brought their personal problems to the White House. You self noticed all the tension going on the last couple of months before he left."  
  
Jed looked away and rubbed his temples. When he looked at his friend again his eyes were black.  
  
"Aren't you just a bit a shamed?" He held up his thumb and indexfinger an inch from each other.  
  
"I did what I thought was the best for the White House," Leo said almost inaudible.  
  
Jed snorted. "It's always been about that, Leo. I'm glad a President only can sit for two terms. Otherwise you wouldn't have had Jordan and Mallory now."  
  
Leo looked hurt but didn't say anything.  
  
"You shouldn't have made me ask for his resignation," Jed said before rising.  
  
He quickly walked towards the door and Abbey looked sympathetically at Leo. She rose as well and put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"I'll talk to him."  
  
She quickly left the library but stopped out in the hall. Jed was just standing still looking at CJ who looked at him as well. She looked pale, hurt and shocked. It didn't take long for Abbey to realize CJ had heard everything they've just said. She took a small step towards her and put her hand on her lower arm and gently rubbed it.  
  
"CJ, honey."  
  
Josh and Sam loudly came down the stairs. They didn't notice something strange was going on.  
  
"Are you ready to go, Ceej?" Josh asked and smiled with Sam next to him.  
  
CJ slowly nodded and turned to Abbey.  
  
"Honey, don't go. Stay here and we'll talk about this," Abbey begged.  
  
CJ looked towards the door where Josh and Sam were waiting for her.  
  
"Um, I have to go. I'm going horseback-riding with the guys."  
  
She quickly left before Abbey got the chance to say anything else. Sadly, she turned to Jed who looked frustrated.  
  
"Damn it!" He said loudly and hit his hand against the wall.  
  
Tbc.  
  
2003-03-01 


	7. Part 7

Part 7  
  
During the ride towards the stable CJ didn't say a word. Josh and Sam anxiously looked at each other trying to get the other person to ask her what was wrong. Finally, Sam couldn't take it anymore. As Paul was showing Josh the horse he was going to have Sam pulled CJ aside.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
She bit her lower lip and put her arms around her waist. "Um, I don't know Sam. I can't say anything." She looked up at him and he noticed she had tears in her eyes. "Not now, Sam."  
  
Sam smiled gently at her and stroked her arm before Paul interrupted them.  
  
"Come on, I'll show you your horses now."  
  
To their surprise Josh actually was good at riding, CJ had some experience and Sam was a natural so everyone was pleased when Paul decided to leave them alone. Half an hour later CJ stopped her horse and jumped off.  
  
"What's the matter, CJ? Tired already?" Josh teased.  
  
"Yeah, in my ass," CJ muttered.  
  
Josh and Sam laughed as they got off their horses as well. They walked with the horses on the open field, CJ in the middle. Sam and Josh did their best to have a conversation telling CJ everything about what was going on in D.C. but they soon noticed she wasn't listening.  
  
"CJ, is everything alright?" Josh asked.  
  
CJ shrugged and slowed down. "If I tell you promise you won't say something to Leo or the First Couple."  
  
Josh and Sam looked over at each other then at CJ and both nodded.  
  
"Really, guys, this isn't a joke or something like that," CJ ranted. "I need you two to give me your word."  
  
"We promise," Sam said.  
  
CJ turned to Josh.  
  
"Yeah, we do," he said and smiled softly at her.  
  
CJ took a deep breath before speaking. "When you two were up changing clothes I heard something. I heard Leo and the President talk in the library. Apparently, they had something to do with Toby leaving."  
  
Both Josh and Sam stopped walking and turned to her with disbelieving eyes.  
  
"Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?" Josh asked.  
  
CJ shook her head as she felt a tear fall down her cheek. "The President said to Leo that he shouldn't have made him ask for Toby's resignation." She sobbed quietly. "And here, I've been going around thinking it was Toby's decision. That it was his choice to leave me."  
  
Sam put his arms around her and held her tightly. Josh just stood still, stunned over what he'd just been told. He just couldn't believe Leo or the President would do something like that.  
  
"Apparently, Leo thought it would hurt the President and our work," CJ said after she'd let go of Sam. "I can't believe Toby never said anything to me about it."  
  
"He would never make a friend look bad in someone else's eyes with purpose," Sam said softly.  
  
CJ snorted as she climbed up her horse. "Yeah, well quite a friend."  
  
*  
  
At lunch someone could have cut the tension with a knife. No one said a word except for Josh who commented on the good food and Abbey told them they had the best chef in New Hampshire. Toby didn't attend at lunch. When Josh, Sam and CJ gotten back from their ride Abbey told them Toby had come in an hour earlier and went straight up to bed to sleep.  
  
"CJ, could you please pass me the salt?" Leo asked tiredly.  
  
CJ didn't look at him, just kept her eyes focused on her plate. "I'd rather not."  
  
Leo looked hurt for a short moment but then did his best to smile at Josh when he passed him the salt.  
  
Then CJ suddenly rose. "Listen, if you guys don't mind I'm pretty beat."  
  
Abbey nodded. "I'll wake you up later for dinner."  
  
CJ walked towards the door but before leaving she turned around. "Something's come up. I have to leave first thing tomorrow morning."  
  
Without waiting for them to say something she left and closed the door. It became quiet but then Josh angrily put down his knife and fork on the table.  
  
"Is it true?" He asked directing his question to Leo.  
  
Sam kicked Josh's leg under the table. "Josh!"  
  
"No!" Josh said and looked briefly at Sam before turning back his attention at Leo. "Is it true? Were you the one who made Toby leave?"  
  
"Josh, calm down," Abbey pleaded when she noticed how small Leo seemed in his chair.  
  
Josh snorted and rose. He threw his napkin on the table.  
  
"I just lost my appetite."  
  
"I'll talk to him," Sam said and quickly ran after Josh.  
  
After they had left Leo finished what was in his glass and then turned to Abbey.  
  
"Great idea inviting them here, Abbey. Although, if I'd known this would be a feast of bashing me I probably wouldn't have accepted the invitation!"  
  
Slowly and tiredly, he rose and walked towards the door but Jed stopped him by stepping in front of him.  
  
"Now, you listen to me."  
  
"Jed!" Abbey said and shook her head.  
  
Jed sighed and walked over to her. No one of them noticed Leo slowly leaving the room with his shoulders slightly shaking.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jed," Abbey whispered. "This really was a stupid idea."  
  
Jed took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles. "It wasn't, Abbey. We'll fix this."  
  
"Okay," she whispered kissing him on the forehead.  
  
*  
  
Sam knocked on the door to CJ's room and opened it. CJ was half-lying on the bed leaning against a pile of pillows. Josh sat next to her doing his best to comfort her. Sam entered the room, closed the door and walked over to the bed and sat down on the other side of CJ.  
  
"So, what are you doing?" Sam asked after a while.  
  
CJ smiled through her tears at him. "Just talking about stuff like the weather and all."  
  
Sam smirked then looked over at Josh. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"I just can't believe he would do such a thing. Yeah, I know his job meant everything to him but that much.! This week has turned out so weird and we just came here!"  
  
"Are you going to talk to Leo?" Sam asked CJ carefully. "I mean, ask for an explanation."  
  
CJ shook her head and closed her eyes. When she opened them Sam looked at her with pleading eyes. She shook her head again.  
  
"No, Sam! And don't even try to give me that look. I won't do it anyway. For years I've believed Toby left without saying goodbye because he never cared enough about me, because I wasn't as good as Andi. I've felt like shit, I've only accepted three invitations for a date and I didn't even enjoy them. I've been thinking about him everyday, I've missed him every second since he left and every night before I went to sleep I've wondered what I did wrong, what was wrong with me that made him leave." She took a deep breath. "No, I'm just not going to do it, Sam. He didn't even have the guts to come clean about it and he isn't even a bit a shamed of what he's done!"  
  
It was quiet for a while until Sam moved on the bed a bit uncomfortably. He nervously gestured with his hands in the air and then turned to both of them.  
  
"You know, he's dying," he said quietly.  
  
Neither CJ nor Josh said something. Then Sam moved uncomfortably on the bed again and he got CJ's and Josh's attention.  
  
"While the three of us are in here there's something I'd like to tell you," he said avoiding looking at them.  
  
*  
  
Toby walked into the kitchen and poured up a glass of water. He didn't understand where everyone was. He had just woken up and it was dinner in an hour so everyone should be back at the house. He sighed and walked towards the library, the room that had become his favorite. He noticed smoke above one of the chairs and walked over there expecting it to be the President. He stopped in his tracks when he realized it was Leo. Then he decided it was time now whether Leo liked it or not. He sat down in the other chair and even if Leo had seen him he didn't show any sign of it.  
  
Toby didn't take his eyes from the fireplace. "Should you really be smoking?"  
  
Leo glared at him.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Toby mumbled waving with his hand in the air.  
  
"I want to be alone," Leo said suddenly.  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
Leo turned to look at him again and his eyes were small and black. He put the cigar on the ashtray and held up a glass with brandy. It was first now that Toby noticed the glass and he raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Not thinking so much about the cigar right now, huh?" Leo said sarcastically and then put down the glass on the table again to Toby's relief. "You know, I've been sitting here for hours staring at the glass wondering who's the strongest."  
  
"Did you win?"  
  
"It isn't over yet."  
  
Toby didn't say anything. He was thinking of how to bring up what he wanted to talk about without making Leo leave as he had done earlier night. Before he said anything Leo opened his mouth.  
  
"You should be glad to know everyone here has turned against me, including Jed," he said lighting another cigar.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Yeah, this has turned out to be "Hate-Leo-Week"." He paused and took a deep breath rubbing his temples. "CJ heard Jed and me talk about what happened earlier today so she knows about it. Apparently she told Sam and Josh so it isn't a secret anymore. I've got to give you credit for not saying anything to anyone."  
  
Toby shrugged taking one of Leo's cigars without asking. "I think we should talk."  
  
Leo nodded and looked at him. "Yeah, we probably should."  
  
Tbc.  
  
2003-03-01 


	8. Part 8

Part 8  
  
Sam had been quiet for at least a minute after he'd told them he had to tell them something. CJ gently shook his arm and he turned to look at her.  
  
"I'm just trying to come up with how to tell you this," he mumbled.  
  
Josh smirked. "What? You're getting married?"  
  
Sam blushed and looked down. "No."  
  
Josh sighed. "Then what is it? Is it gossip?"  
  
CJ playfully hit Josh on the arm and it seemed as if she had forgotten her problems, at least for the minute. Sam took a deep breath.  
  
"Okay, here we go. Are you two happy with the lives you are living?"  
  
CJ laughed nervously. "Sam, what kind of question is that?"  
  
"Just answer it, please. Are you happy with your life? Are you happy with how it turned out?"  
  
CJ shrugged. "Okay, I'm not answering that."  
  
Josh had also lightened up since Sam had entered the room and now he was smiling from ear to ear. "Okay, then I'll go!"  
  
"Great," CJ whispered to Sam who couldn't help smiling slightly.  
  
"Yes, I am!" Josh stated. "I've worked in the White House for eight years. Now I'm working for Senator Seaborn who will become President in a couple of years. I have a beautiful and amazing wife and beautiful kids who fortunately got her looks."  
  
CJ giggled silently.  
  
"CJ?" Sam said.  
  
CJ groaned and put a hand to her forehead. "Come on, guys! You know my answer to that. I've never enjoyed PR yet I've worked with it for years. Now I'm working with a political TV-program that isn't that fun either. In my professional life I've had eight amazing years, the ones in the White House."  
  
"Naturally," Josh cut in. "Oh, you know what we could do? We'll hire you, won't we Sam?"  
  
CJ smiled slightly. "Thanks Josh but I don't want to be in D.C. right now. Even though it's been years that city still has too many bad memories."  
  
"Not only bad," Josh said with an innocent smile.  
  
"Not all but my last years there were just horrible. I just wanted to leave even though I was doing what I'd always dream of."  
  
"So, you're not that happy?" Sam asked.  
  
CJ began to get irritated and she didn't understand where Sam was going with this.  
  
"Yes!" She said loudly. "Do you want me to spell it out for you? What do you want to hear? That my personal life's been shit my entire adult life?"  
  
"I'm sorry," Sam mumbled looking away. "I just... I'm trying to make this easier for you two to understand."  
  
"By making CJ angry?" Josh said, nervously looking at CJ who glared at him.  
  
Sam smiled a little. "I'm just saying...Yeah, we had a great time in the White House but I'm just thinking; What if we hadn't taken the jobs at the campaign? What if we hadn't won?" He continued quietly. "It sure would have made things easier."  
  
CJ put her hand on his arm and waited for him to look at her. "Sam, what are you trying say?"  
  
Sam shrugged and looked down. "I haven't lived the life I've wanted. I'm a scam and a fraud."  
  
Josh looked confused at him, raising his eyebrows. "Sam, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Hadn't I worked with this I'd probably be prouder of who I am by now. I'd probably live with someone I love deeply." He looked up at them and smiled innocently. "A man."  
  
Josh raised his eyebrows and looked stunned at Sam. CJ smiled slightly then bent forward to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
"That's good, Sam," she said quietly. "I mean, that you're finally saying it out loud."  
  
Sam looked suspiciously at her. "You knew? Have you talked to Toby?"  
  
CJ looked confused at him first now remembering her conversation last night with him. She smiled a little to herself as she thought of how Toby had fooled her. It had been one of the few times that she had fallen for it.  
  
"Sam, it was brought up when I and Toby talked last night. I was the one who brought it up but he made everything in his power to make me think you weren't so he hasn't done anything wrong here."  
  
Sam smiled and then let out a sigh of relief as if he had been afraid of Toby letting him down. Then he peeked over at Josh who still hadn't said anything. He looked worriedly at him.  
  
"Josh?" He said quietly.  
  
Josh looked at him and then got out of bed. "Sam, how long have we known each other?"  
  
"Since we were in our twenties," Sam said not understanding why Josh brought that up now.  
  
Josh began pacing in front of the bed. "And how long have you known you're gay?"  
  
"Since high school," Sam said, as his cheeks became redder.  
  
Josh stopped pacing and crossed his arms over his chest. He opened his mouth several times but nothing came out. He put a hand to his forehead and looked down and then at Sam again.  
  
"How, how could you not tell me anything?"  
  
Sam shrugged and looked away. "I don't know. I guess I thought you'd think different of me."  
  
"Well I am!" Josh said and CJ wasn't sure if she'd ever heard him that hurt and serious. "Not about the fact that you're gay but the fact that you've kept this a secret for so long. I thought we were friends, Sam!"  
  
Sam avoided looking at Josh and nervously began to fidget with his hands. Josh put his hands on his sides looking as if he was waiting for Sam to say something. When he didn't he just nodded once and then left, slamming the door after him.  
  
"Ouch," CJ said quietly.  
  
"Yeah," Sam agreed sadly.  
  
CJ began smiling and pushed her shoulder against his. "So, do you have a boyfriend at the time?"  
  
Sam shyly shook his head.  
  
"Want to go with me tonight and find a bar with lots of liquor, get drunk and hit on some men?"  
  
Sam blushed and shook his head and CJ smiled softly.  
  
"Come on! You need to go out and get some! I know I do. How long was it since you had a boyfriend?"  
  
Sam blushed even more and looked away as he mumbled something.  
  
"What was that?" CJ asked loudly.  
  
He looked up at her but avoided her eyes. "I've only had one boyfriend, CJ, and that was in high school." CJ's mouth was half-open and stayed that way for several seconds until Sam gently pushed up her chin. "Holy shit!" She said when she finally had found her ability to speak again. "You seriously need to go out and get some!"  
  
*  
  
Toby nervously moved in his chair. He didn't know how to begin. Looking at Leo made him remember everything that had happened the last time they were alone in a room and all the anger he had buried for years.  
  
He cleared his throat as he decided to go soft at first. "I want to apologize for what I said to you the last time we talked."  
  
Leo let out a cloud of smoke as he leaned back in the chair and sighed. "Yeah, well, you weren't exactly lying. I only had my work, Jordan had just left me, Mallory wasn't speaking to me and yeah, I was, I am a drunk with no feelings."  
  
"You know what? I don't believe that." When Leo didn't say anything he continued. "Jed has been the only constant in your life the past 20 years and the only one you've trusted fully. You'd do anything for him."  
  
Leo snorted and looked at him. "What do you know? What do you know about that?"  
  
Toby shrugged. "CJ," he said simply.  
  
Leo put a hand to his forehead and remained silent for a while. Toby just looked at him waiting for him to say something. When Leo finally put down his hand he took a deep breath before turning to him.  
  
"Toby, I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "What I did, what I asked you to do wasn't fair. I never should have put you in that situation. I've been thinking about it everyday since you left. I've been thinking about how I hurt two adopted family members. How I made CJ just as miserable as I made my ex-wife." He sighed. "I've been so angry with myself, myself and my pride. I've been angry with myself for not finding you and asking you to come back." He paused a few seconds for air. "Yesterday night I was rude to you because I was surprised over how you could treat me so nicely after what I've done."  
  
It seemed as Leo finally was done. He lit another cigar and then looked at the glass on the table between them again.  
  
"What's the point?" He said. "I mean seriously, I'll be gone in a month anyway, what does it matter if I spend my last time drunk?"  
  
He hadn't expected Toby to answer so he was surprised when he heard his voice.  
  
"Because then you'd lose. We don't lose," he said simply. Then he waved with his hand in the air. "I accept your apology," he mumbled.  
  
Leo smiled slightly and looked thankfully at him. "And I accept yours."  
  
He held out his hand and Toby took it. Leo looked relived and smiled.  
  
"Thank you, Toby. Thank you for coming here." He snorted. "Funny how you're the only one who's not angry with me now."  
  
Toby smiled slightly and put his hand on Leo's arm. "I'll take care of it."  
  
Tbc.  
  
2003-03-02 


	9. Part 9

Note: This includes a minor spoiler from Dead Irish Writers.  
  
Part 9  
  
Abbey sat down by the table and smiled at Jed on the other end of the table.  
  
"Looks like it's just going to be the two of us tonight," she said and sighed sadly.  
  
"Nah, they'll show up. We know Josh will."  
  
Abbey did an attempt to smile but failed. Jed walked over to her and sat down next to her, taking her hand in his.  
  
"Really Abbey, I'll fix this."  
  
Abbey shook her head. "No, don't. I think, maybe it's best if we just let it be. Let them go wherever they need to go. One of my stupid ideas shouldn't stop them."  
  
Jed kissed her on the cheek at the same time as Sam and CJ entered the dining room. Sam blushed and CJ smirked.  
  
"Are you two busy?" CJ asked mischievously. "'Cause if you are, we'll just take the food with us."  
  
"Claudia Jean!" Jed said in his most President-like tone. "Sit down! That's an order."  
  
CJ smiled. "Why, sir, can I take orders from you? After all you're not the President any longer."  
  
Jed glared at her but then couldn't help but smiling.  
  
"You're awfully happy, CJ," Abbey said a bit worriedly.  
  
For a brief moment CJ looked sad but then smiled brightly.  
  
"I and Sam are going out tonight. Are there any good clubs here?"  
  
Abbey snorted. "In Manchester?"  
  
"What was that, Abbey?" Jed asked although he had heard her.  
  
Abbey ignored him and focused her attention on CJ and Sam. "Why? Are you going out?"  
  
CJ shrugged and looked at Sam who nodded at her.  
  
"Sam needs to get a boyfriend," she said and smiled. "He hasn't had one since high school."  
  
Sam blushed and looked down. Abbey and Jed looked at first CJ, then Sam, then at each other. Then Jed cleared his throat and Sam looked at him.  
  
"Sam, I don't know what to say," he said slowly and Sam seemed uncomfortable. "You haven't had a boyfriend since high school?"  
  
Sam lightened up and smiled slightly. "No, sir."  
  
Abbey sighed. "I wish I could come with you tonight."  
  
"Why don't you?" Sam asked.  
  
"Secret Service, they won't let me," she whispered.  
  
Jed threw out his arms in the air and grinned. "Maybe we should bring the party here!"  
  
"Jed..." Abbey said slowly. "Let the kids go out and enjoy themselves. I mean, as much as they can in..." Jed cleared his throat so Abbey didn't finish the sentence. "All I'm saying, honey, is that if Sam wants a boyfriend he won't find him in this house."  
  
Sam smiled slightly. "Have I waited all this time, I'm sure I can wait one more night."  
  
CJ groaned. "Sam! I wanted to go out and get drunk!" She nervously looked at Jed, then at Abbey. "No offense."  
  
"None taken," Jed said. "But can I just say, that you may get drunk in this building as well."  
  
"Actually, that makes sense. I was in the White House so why not here?" She winked at Abbey who put a hand to her forehead and groaned at the memory.  
  
"Have I missed something?" Sam asked and looked at Jed who seemed just as confused as he.  
  
Abbey laughed a little then looked at her husband. "It's between... Oh, hi Josh!"  
  
Everyone turned their attention towards the door. Josh looked a bit uncomfortable.  
  
"Ma'am," he said then looked at Sam. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
Sam nodded and followed him out in the hallway, carefully closing the door to the dining room. They stood face to face for a few seconds before Josh looked away. He groaned and covered his face with his hands. Sam put his hand on Josh's shoulder and smiled softly at him.  
  
Josh lowered his hands and looked sadly at Sam. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Me too."  
  
Josh smiled and hugged him quickly. Then he smirked.  
  
"So, I've talked to CJ and she told me you haven't had a boyfriend since high school."  
  
"Typical CJ. So, are you hungry?"  
  
Josh raised his eyebrows. "What do you think? I've been sitting in my room, moping for two hours."  
  
Sam laughed as they walked back into the dining room again.  
  
"So, now we only miss Leo and Toby," Abbey said.  
  
"I just think we should start eating," Josh said. "If they'll show up, which isn't likely, there will still be enough left for them."  
  
"You're that hungry?" Toby said as he walked into the room and sat down next to Sam, facing CJ on the other side of the table.  
  
He nervously focused his eyes everywhere but at her.  
  
"Have you seen Leo?" Jed asked and everyone could hear how worried he was.  
  
"He's in his room, resting. He was kind of beat."  
  
"But he's okay?" Jed asked at the same time as Sam asked;  
  
"You've talked to him?"  
  
At first Toby nodded to Jed to calm him down. Then he turned to Sam.  
  
"I have."  
  
He rubbed a spot right over his left temple and then looked at each one of them, even CJ but not as long as at the others.  
  
"Listen, I and Leo have talked and there are no hard feelings between us anymore. We've sorted everything out. He forgave me for the things I told him and I've forgiven him. I'm kind of hoping you will do the same."  
  
CJ's eyes became smaller as she caught Toby's eyes. Toby nervously looked at Josh, then at Jed.  
  
"Listen, he has a month left."  
  
He didn't have to say anything else because everyone understood his point. They remained quiet for minutes after what Toby had said. CJ looked angry and she was. She ate quickly so she wouldn't have to stay in the room much longer. Abbey seemed calm and quite content. Jed and Josh just looked thoughtful.  
  
Then, Sam put his hand on the table and the sound caught everyone's attention.  
  
"So, any ideas on how to get me a boyfriend?" He said and grinned.  
  
Toby turned surprised to him then began smiling. Then he turned away and drank a sip of his wine. He felt CJ's eyes on him and finally he had the guts to look at her. He didn't understand her eyes. He had always understood them but maybe it had been too long.  
  
"I think CJ's idea of going to a bar was good," Abbey said quickly, trying to keep the conversation alive.  
  
"Nah, that takes too much time. I think you should check out the personalad's," Josh said.  
  
CJ glared at him. "Excuse me?" Do you want your boss killed? Do you know how many psycho's who put in one of those ad's?!"  
  
"What, have you?" Josh smirked, causing CJ to hit him on the arm.  
  
"Well, well, that we'll sort out later. Tonight we're staying here," Jed put in. "CJ, you and Sam can go out tomorrow night."  
  
CJ looked uncomfortable, glancing at Toby. "Sir, have you forgot that I'm leaving tomorrow morning?"  
  
Toby's head snapped up quickly but then he looked down again.  
  
"Oh, my!" Jed said and winked mischievously at her. "I must have forgot..."  
  
*  
  
After dinner they had moved to the living room. Jed and Toby were sitting by the window, smoking cigars and talking quietly to each other. Around the coffee table sat Josh, Abbey, Sam and CJ. Often, CJ glanced over at Toby and wondered what he and Jed talked about. What she didn't know was that Toby glanced at her every minute as well.  
  
"Toby, you seriously need to do something about that," Jed said and winked at him.  
  
Toby blushed and did his best to look confused. "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't think I understand."  
  
Jed nodded once at him. "I think you do."  
  
Toby sighed, then poured up another glass of scotch. He looked over at CJ again then mentally kicked himself for doing that in front of Jed after what he'd just said. When he turned to look at Jed he grinned mischievously at him.  
  
"So," Toby said, trying to come up with something good to say, to take them away from the sensitive subject that involved CJ. "Are you going to talk to Leo?"  
  
Jed nodded. "Yes, I will. I'm more worried about her."  
  
He looked at CJ and Toby nodded.  
  
He shrugged. "It's understandable. I wish she'd never heard you talk about it. It would have been much better. She wouldn't have to have all these bad memories later when Leo is. gone."  
  
Jed looked sad for a brief moment, but then leaned closer to Toby. "I have to give you credit for keeping quiet all this time, Toby."  
  
Toby looked away shortly then straight in Jed's eyes. "It wasn't as if I'd have gained anything by telling her. She loved working in the White House. If I had told her... She wouldn't have been CJ anymore."  
  
"She wasn't after you left either. The last years in the White House..." Jed sighed dramatically causing Abbey to glance worriedly at him. "I think that when Sam decided to leave it began to go down-hill for our administration, Toby. I mean, we did our job and if I may say so I think we did it quite well. But it wasn't the same. The joy that made us survive during the first years was gone. Nothing of it was left. Josh missed Sam, then he lost you, his wing-man."  
  
Toby blushed at the thought of Josh telling Jed about that.  
  
"Leo became harsher towards his employees after you left and CJ... God, Toby, you must have seen the briefings yourself. The few times I had the time to watch one of her briefings it was as if it wasn't CJ. It was someone else in her body. She didn't smile, she didn't joke with the press corps. Everything was gone."  
  
It seemed as if Jed was done talking. He smiled softly at Toby who sighed silently. Toby put a hand over his eyes. When he took it away he looked at CJ. This time she looked back and no one turned their eyes away.  
  
Tbc.  
  
2003-03-09 


	10. Part 10

Part 10  
  
Josh carefully placed the chess-table of glass on the coffee table then sat down in a chair.  
  
"Who's playing?" He asked, looking at Jed, Sam and Toby.  
  
Jed grinned and looked at Sam. "Up for the challenge?"  
  
Sam sighed sadly then smiled and nodded.  
  
"Sam, if you don't beat him you'll never become President," Josh teased.  
  
Sam glared angrily at him. Toby moved closer to Sam.  
  
"I'll help you."  
  
Sam smiled thankfully and then looked at Jed. "Black or white?"  
  
"Black."  
  
"Let the games begin!" Josh said loudly and got irritated looks from everyone.  
  
Sam thought for a minute before making his move.  
  
"Tough call," Toby said sarcastically.  
  
"I wonder what's taking CJ so long," Abbey said suddenly.  
  
Jed put down the tower he held in his hand and smiled softly at her.  
  
"She'll be back soon, honey."  
  
As if she had heard them the door opened and CJ and Leo entered. Leo looked a bit uncomfortable, standing close to the door. Sam and Josh looked nervously at each other then at Toby.  
  
CJ smiled slightly. "Look who I found. Maybe you can have like a chess- tournament or something."  
  
She walked over to them pulling Leo with her. Jed moved over on the couch to make space for him. Jed briefly put his hand on Leo's shoulder and they exchanged their silent apologies to each other.  
  
CJ yawned loudly. "I'm going to bed now."  
  
She turned around and was at the door when Abbey called her name.  
  
"Will you stay?"  
  
CJ stood still for a moment before turning around to look at them. "I don't know."  
  
"Should someone go and talk to her?" Sam asked innocently after she had closed the door.  
  
"Yes!" Jed and Abbey said at the same time and glared at Toby.  
  
Toby seemed numbed. He was still looking at the closed door and he showed no sign of that he'd heard the others talk. Then he rose and put down his glass on the table.  
  
"I'll be right back."  
  
Toby slowly walked up the stairs doing his best not to think. If he did he knew his mind would convince him that he shouldn't do this. When he stopped outside her door he knocked even before he had stopped walking. He nervously scratched his neck as he waited for her to say something or open the door. After a while he knocked again.  
  
"CJ?" He said softly. "It's Toby."  
  
"Yeah, I can see that."  
  
Toby quickly turned around and pressed his back against the door. "CJ!"  
  
"No, Santa Claus."  
  
She walked over to the door causing Toby to quickly move away. She opened it and then turned at him.  
  
"Did you want something or are you just going to... you know, standing there?"  
  
He looked innocently at her then brushed his hand against her arm. She flinched as if his touch had burnt her and in a way it had. She closed her eyes and stepped aside, allowing Toby to enter her bedroom. She closed the door and walked over to the bed. Toby nervously sat down in a chair.  
  
CJ sighed and did her best not to look at him. "Listen, Toby, I'm kind of tired. I just had a quite intense discussion with Leo and I don't know if I can take one more tonight."  
  
Toby shrugged. "Then when? CJ, you're leaving tomorrow morning. Were you planning on telling me that?"  
  
CJ rose angrily and crossed her arms over her chest. "No, actually I wasn't! I thought that's what we do! We leave each other without saying goodbye!"  
  
She sank back down on the bed and covered her face with her hands. When her shoulders began shaking slightly Toby carefully sat down next to her on the bed. He put his hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed it.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered.  
  
She looked down at her hands that now were resting in her lap. "Yeah, well you should be. Toby, I don't understand you. How could you let me work with the man who had separated us? I just want some kind of explanation. I think I deserve that."  
  
He put a stray of hair behind her ear and briefly looked down. "Yeah, you do."  
  
He was quiet for a while and the more he thought of it, he realized he had no answer for her.  
  
"Have you forgiven Leo?" He asked instead.  
  
She shrugged. "I did my best. Toby, you've had years to deal with this. I found this out just this morning. And I wasn't even supposed to know!"  
  
"I thought it didn't matter. Not now."  
  
"I told him there are no harsh feelings but he knows that there is. But I'm thinking about what you said earlier at dinner. He's dying soon, Toby. Real soon and I'm not letting him die without my forgiveness."  
  
"It's not honest."  
  
"I can't find it in a month!" She snapped.  
  
Toby held up his hands as if to defend himself. "Yeah, I know."  
  
Toby's cell phone rung. He sighed and planned on turning it off when he saw who it was. "Hello?"  
  
"Hi daddy!"  
  
Toby smiled softly. "Eliza... How are you?"  
  
"Fine. When are you coming home? Mom makes me eat vegetables."  
  
Toby chuckled quietly and glanced over at CJ. "Listen, honey, I'll be home in just a couple of days and then we'll go to McDonald's or somewhere else with greasy food."  
  
"Yay!"  
  
"Honey, I have to go but I'll call you tomorrow. Tell your brother I love him, okay?"  
  
"I love you, daddy."  
  
Toby looked at CJ who looked questioningly at him.  
  
"And I love you," he said looking at her.  
  
CJ quickly looked away as Toby turned the phone off.  
  
"I'm sorry about that."  
  
"No, no, Toby. Don't ever apologize for taking the time to talk to your children. At least not to me."  
  
It was quiet for a moment and CJ nervously fidgeted with her hands.  
  
"I have missed you," Toby said honestly. "I mean, I have *really* missed you. I've thought about you everyday and I don't know how many times I've thought of picking up the phone to call you but..."  
  
"You should have," she interrupted with tears in her eyes and her voice thick.  
  
"I was scared that you'd turn me down. That you wouldn't answer my calls, that you wouldn't answer my letters. I just left you CJ and... I'm just saying, I would have understand."  
  
CJ smiled slightly. "I could never turn you down," she whispered. "There would definitely have been some yelling, or a lot but after the yelling... Toby, all I wanted was a call."  
  
"Yeah, I know," he said sadly.  
  
"I still don't understand how you could just leave without saying something to me. I mean, I could have left instead of you."  
  
Toby looked away and thought about if he really was going to tell her everything. Then he took her hand in his. He was surprised that he let her do that and that she even squeezed his hand slightly.  
  
"CJ, it wasn't just because of our relationship they wanted me to leave. Our relationship was the source to everything. You remember the first time Leo told us to end it?" She nodded. "You saw it yourself, Ceej. The drinking, my temper, the hostility. I let out a lot of that on you and I'm sorry about that. I really am."  
  
She smiled softly. "It didn't matter, though. I could take that because I knew that deep down you loved me."  
  
"Still, though." He paused and put a hand to his forehead. "You remember how you thought Leo let us be together? Well, he didn't but I told him not to say anything to you and I promised I would end it, again. When I never did and as my drinking continued he asked for my resignation instead."  
  
CJ bit her lower lip, then stroked her hand across his cheek. "You could have stayed in D.C. Or you could have told me and I would have come with you. I would have followed you anywhere, you know that."  
  
He nodded once. "Yeah, I do but... CJ, earlier tonight I told the President that working in the White House is the best thing you've ever done in your life and I would never rob you of the opportunity by making you leave the administration earlier than intended."  
  
"Toby, the reason working in the White House is the best thing I've ever done was partly because of you."  
  
Toby looked embarrassed. Then he squeezed her hand tightly. She looked down at their entwined hands, then sighed sadly.  
  
"I'm still leaving tomorrow morning, though," she whispered.  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
Tbc.  
  
2003-03-09 


	11. Part 11

Note at the end.  
  
Part 11  
  
Abbey walked over to CJ with her arms stretched out. CJ hugged Abbey tightly then kissed her on the head.  
  
"Are you sure you can't stay until Friday? I mean, it's only two more days."  
  
"I'm sorry, Abbey, but my boss... I just have to go."  
  
Abbey nodded then stepped aside to let her husband say goodbye to CJ. She bent down so he could kiss her on the cheek.  
  
"Claudia Jean, don't let it be as long as this time before you come back again," he said, holding her hand as he talked.  
  
"No, sir. I'll call you when I'm there."  
  
She swallowed and forced herself to smile as she walked over to Leo who sat in the chair.  
  
"Bye, Leo," she said and bent down to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
He put his hands on her shoulders and with her help he rose. He held on to the railing as he looked sadly at her. It was first now that she realized this was the last time she would see him. She put her arms around him and cried. She held him tightly and she never wanted to let go. When she did though, she smiled gently.  
  
"Leo, everything is forgotten," she whispered honestly and she would never forget the relived look on his face. "I promise. I love you."  
  
"I love you too, kiddo. Can you promise me something?"  
  
"Anything."  
  
"That you'll make peace with Toby." He noticed she was about to protest so he hushed her. "I'm not saying it has to happen now. It doesn't even have to happen in the next coming weeks. I'm just saying. I stole three years from you. Don't let them to be more."  
  
Tears were running down CJ's face and she pulled Leo in for a hug again. "Fuck," she whispered. "I can't believe this is really happening."  
  
Jed cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to interrupt but if you want to catch that plane."  
  
"Yeah," she said and let go of Leo.  
  
She walked over to Josh and hugged him. "I'll see you soon, okay?" He nodded. "Give Amy and the kids huge hugs and kisses from me, okay?"  
  
He smiled sadly. "What about me?"  
  
She kissed him on the month and smiled softly.  
  
"Move to D.C.," he blurted out. "Come on, you can get any job you want."  
  
She put her hand on his chest and smiled. "Later, Josh, later." She turned to Sam. "And you! I'm sorry I can't go out with you tonight but you know..."  
  
"I do." He kissed her and then hugged her.  
  
"Call me when you're going to run for President."  
  
He smiled and kissed her again. Josh raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Hey, man, you're sure you're gay?"  
  
Sam glared at him but then couldn't help smiling. CJ threw her bag over her shoulder and walked over to the car.  
  
"Well, I guess I'll see you around."  
  
She opened the door and put her bag in the back. She looked at Leo for a few seconds before running over to him and giving him another hug. It was a quick hug and as she let go she refused to look at him. She quickly walked over to the car and sat down in the shotgun. When she looked out the window she noticed that there was one more person on the porch. He looked intensely at her as he put his hands over his heart, the gesture she had seen him do for her so many times.  
  
"Ma'am, are you sure you're ready to go?" The driver asked politely.  
  
"Yeah, just drive," she whispered, looking everywhere but back at her friends.  
  
*  
  
"Dad, you're home!" Mallory said and bent down to hug him.  
  
Then she walked around the wheelchair to hug Jed and Abbey.  
  
"Where's Jordan?" Leo asked weakly. "And Margaret? I want Margaret to be here."  
  
Mallory nodded. "They're in the bedroom, dad. They've made your bed and fixed everything. Are you tired?"  
  
Leo nodded and closed his eyes. Mallory looked worriedly at Jed and Abbey who didn't dare to face her. Abbey rolled the wheelchair down the hall and into his bedroom.  
  
"Margaret, Jordan," Abbey said and smiled sadly. "How are you two?"  
  
They didn't answer. The only person that had their attention was Leo. They helped him lie down in the bed. As Margaret helped him Jordan walked over to Abbey.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"It's not long now." She put her hand on Jordan's arm. "I'm sorry."  
  
Jordan closed her eyes and shook her head. "Don't be. Are you and Jed staying here? Margaret and I have prepared the guestroom."  
  
Abbey smiled softly.  
  
"Are you hungry? I'll fix something if you are."  
  
"Jordan, Jordan, calm down. We'll manage, okay? Now just stay here with Leo."  
  
Jordan sighed and nodded. "Thank you."  
  
She sat down on the bed and took Leo's hand in hers. Margaret smiled slightly before leaving the bedroom. Leo opened his eyes and smiled weakly at Jordan.  
  
"You look like an angel. If heaven's full with angels that looks like you I can't wait to go."  
  
Jordan smiled through her tears. "Do you want anything? Water?"  
  
Leo coughed and shook his head. "No, no thank you."  
  
"Are you tired?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then I'll let you sleep." She kissed him then stayed nest to him on the bed.  
  
"Jordan?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Aren't you going to ask me?"  
  
"Ask you what?"  
  
"How it was in Manchester."  
  
Jordan smiled and stroked his cheek. "I'm sorry, love. How was it?"  
  
He slowly opened his eyes and smiled softly. "I found peace."  
  
The end.  
  
2003-03-09  
  
Note: Okay, so I realize the last sentence was a bit too much but anyway... Thank you so much for all feedback and reviews. It has made me so happy! I kind of feel bad, though, for making Leo the bad guy. It had to be someone though and everything turned out fine... Anyway, I know this practically screams for a sequel because of the CJ/Toby situation so just so you wont send me threatening e-mails *lol*, yes, I've already begun writing it.  
  
Note 2: I'm in serious need of a beta-reader so if you're interested (please!) I'd appreciate if you'd e-mail me at jee__sun@hotmail.com 


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